Pregnancy #2 vs. Pregnancy #1

One of the questions I’m asked most frequently these days is if my second pregnancy is any different from the first.  They could NOT be any MORE different!  Although I feel and look different this time around, the major change is my overall outlook on my pregnancy.

Breaking the news to my husband and family.  When I found out I was pregnant with our first child two years ago, I told my husband, parents, and sisters (with the exception of one) in person.  I had my husband come home from work (I told a small white lie) because I wanted to share the news immediately and wanted it to be face-to-face!  This time, other than my mom (who I was with when I took the pregnancy test) and my sister who lives next door, I broke the news to everyone over the phone – even to my husband who was at work!

Books, websites, resources. Hours after telling my husband two years ago, we were in Barnes and Noble buying a handful of pregnancy books.  These (along with a few key websites and an awesome day-by-day pregnancy guide-book that a girlfriend sent me) were my bibles for the next 5-6 months.  The books were always by my side and I read and studied whenever I could – I wanted to know every single detail of pregnancy that I could.  I knew the baby’s current size, weight, developments, skills, etc.  Ask me how big Pumpkin is right now.  The answer?  I honestly have no idea. It’s not that I don’t care how big he/she is or what developmental stage he/she is up to – but there are different priorities right now in my life right now.  I know and remember what I need to in order to have a safe, healthy, and successful pregnancy.  The size of the baby (and fruit/vegetable comparison), while the highlight of my week for pregnancy #1, is no longer my focus these days.

Perception of time.  Time seemed to go very slow when I was pregnant with my son.  I think since I was reading about each day and what changes were occurring to my body and the baby that it made each day/week of pregnancy feel like an eternity.  I was always looking ahead and anxious to begin the next phase.  I am 22 weeks and have no idea where the last 4+ months went.  The idea that I am past the halfway point is mind-boggling to me.  My days fly by because my time – and mind – are preoccupied with a fun-loving, active, and energetic 16 month year old little boy.  I no longer have the luxury of sitting with my feet up and relaxing for hours in the afternoons like I during pregnancy #1.  I’m also in NO rush to have two little ones around.  I’m excited to give birth and grow our family, but at the same time, I am enjoying having one child to focus on.  There is no need for me to look ahead these days.

Little man on the move

My family. During pregnancy #1, I received daily phone calls from my parents and sisters – checking in on me and seeing how I was feeling.  Every conversation usually started with How are you feeling? It’s hilarious because there have been more than a few occurrences so far where one of my sisters will say something that shows she momentarily forgot I am pregnant – For example, when we were out to brunch for Mother’s Day, one of my sisters offered me some of her cocktail to try.  After I refused repeatedly, she asked Why don’t you just try it? What’s the big deal?  When I responded with, Umm, because I’m pregnant? she couldn’t stop laughing – she had completely forgot that I was pregnant!  It’s not that they don’t care or aren’t excited about my pregnancy and baby #2 – but they, like me, are more focused on what is in front of them now – my son, and having already gone through a healthy and successful pregnancy, the need to constantly “check-in” is not as important.

The need to plan.  With baby #1, there was a ton of planning that needed to be done – deciding on baby furniture, strollers, registering for all the baby items, selecting a doctor, thinking of names, etc – all had to be fit into a few months time.  It’s not that I’m not planning anything with baby #2, but all of this is already taken care of – we don’t need any more baby items, we still have our list of names we used for baby #1, we will be using my son’s furniture, and we have a doctor.  So in reality, what sort of planning really needs to happen for a subsequent baby? Not much, in my opinion.

This has nothing to do with not being excited or caring about baby #2.  Actually, in some ways, I am MORE excited this time around because I know how amazing giving birth to a child is – I get giddy when I think about holding a newborn in my arms again, watching him/her sleep peacefully in my arms, knowing all the amazing memories that are yet to be made with him/her.

First day home with my son

But, I’ve been through pregnancy.  I remember the important information – what I can’t eat, what pains/cramps are normal and not-normal, how to breastfeed (I spent hours reading and studying various breastfeeding books).  The truth is, 95% of my focus right  now has to be on my son.  Baby #2 is safe and sound in my belly.  I am eating healthy and staying active and doing everything I need to to ensure that I give birth to a healthy baby.  My focus will shift accordingly when baby #2 is born.  But right now, I have a 16 month old who sits on my lap and wants me to read to him or stands by the front door with his shoes in his hand, anxious to go out and play.  THIS is my focus these days.  THIS is what makes the days fly by.

My priority these days

Did you experience the same feelings during your subsequent pregnancies?  Did your third or fourth (or more!!) pregnancies go by even quicker?  

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    17 thoughts on “Pregnancy #2 vs. Pregnancy #1

    1. So true – about all the things you said that made the pregnancy go faster so far….but for some reason, now with baby number SIX I feel like it’s taking forever!! I felt the same way with baby number five – I just don’t like being pregnant. I’m 34 weeks right now and still running – about 3-5 miles at a time – which is a first for me since I had to stop at 16 weeks due to some health issues, and I wasn’t a runner at all until after I had 4 kids :) I have 6 weeks left, and I’m sure they’ll sail by, but I just don’t like the way I feel when I’m pregnant – I am not one of those who feels radiant or just soaks up all the beauty of it – I just want to be in control of my own body again I guess :) I know people are surprised when I say I don’t like being pregnant (they think – then why are you doing it AGAIN?) but I’m pregnant for the end result, not for the magical journey :) I’ve just found your blog and can’t wait to look all around it to read all your pregnant running posts :) Good luck with the rest of yours!! :)

      • Thank you for your sweet comment!! I am glad you found your blog!! I have been meaning to respond for DAYS now but it’s been so crazy busy that I’m finally taking the night off from unpacking / organizing to kick my feet up and respond to blog comments =) I can’t believe you are having baby #6! I’m sure it gets harder and harder with each child you have – I am exhausted being pregnant with just 1 little guy at home. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to have 5 to look after/take care of. Congrats on continuing to run through this time around!! =)
        I have days when I enjoy being pregnant – but most of the time I try to think about how great it’s going to feel post-baby! I miss my body too – miss the control and the ability to push myself hard on a run. Running while pregnant is hard – but a different type of hard – not the “I just pushed through mile repeats and want to puke hard” more the “I’m so tired and my legs aren’t moving at all” hard. LOL.

    2. haha! It’s so true! I remember getting all those BabyCenter updates when I was pregnant with my first son – how big the baby was in my belly, developments, etc. With the 2nd, I had NO idea and no idea what week I was in. For me, time during my 2nd pregnancy move super slow. When I hit 20 weeks, I was ready to be done and to have the baby. I am so excited for you and your family! You are an amazing mom.
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    3. So far my second pregnancy has also been speeding by, I’ve only got 16 weeks left, and it feels like it just started. It also feels strange to not be preparing at all – I mean, not shopping, looking for cribs, strollers, etc. We are preparing in other ways though, we are moving my daughter into a new room, we’re going to be transitioning her very soon into a big – girl bed, and we talk a lot with her about her baby sister who’s coming.

      The pregnancy itself is also quite different. I have gained less weight (and I didn’t go over board in the first), and have felt less pregnant. My running is staying stronger – but I think that has more to do with my habits and goals, plus my desire to bounce back afterwards.

    4. This is so true! With baby number one, my husband was by my side for every appointment and we always had a hand written list of questions for the doctor. With baby number 2, my 3 year old daughter was by my side for every appointment and I always felt bad that I could never think of anything to ask! The pregnancy flew by and now he is 8 months old when it seemed like yesterday we brought him home. “the days are long but the years fly….”

    5. My second pregnancy was different than my first one due to the fact that I had not the same symptoms and life was also different with the second pregnancy.
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    6. It’s interesting the differences you’re experiencing. I can’t compare yet since I only have one child, but I’m certain my next pregnancy will be very different since I won’t have all the time in the world to focus on every little detail of what’s going on.

    7. So true! My sister in law is prego with her second and we keep forgetting!! I used to call her each day practically before and talk about names and baby items and stuff and now we just talk about practically everything else BUT baby 2! I feel bad. Luckily i dont think she is insulted by it. But I think it’s normal. I’m still nowhere near ready for #2 (but who is ever “ready” ??) so I’m sure if/when we have our second ill know how it feels!

    8. These reminds me of my pregnancy days. In my case my pregnancy with my girls were so similar. (A LOT of morning sickness. With my boys I only actually threw up once with each pregnancy.) Each pregnancy went by faster. I took the most preggo pictures with my last one because I knew it was my last time. I even did professional maternity pictures with my last one which is something I never thought I would do. Being pregnant is such a special time!! Enjoy! Pumpkin will seriously be here BEFORE YOU KNOW IT!! :-)
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    9. My thoughts exactly! Baby #2 seems like no big deal. And all those hand wringing decisions you make for the first one are already in place for the second. But there have been some decidedly different things for me this time around which freaked me out a little: I’ve had what the midwife called “normal” spotting, but I never had spotting with my first pregnancy so I freaked. Plus I was having tons of braxton hicks and don’t remember sensing those at all with the first one. And the the placenta was is in front on this one, so I didn’t feel my first kicks until week 19/20. All those combined had me a little freaked until we had the ultrasound. But there’s a healthy little boy in there;-) so we’re all good, its just that this pregnancy is a little different.
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    10. This is so funny to read! I am in my first pregnancy and I have been doing all of those things you described doing in your first. However, I will say, I have gotten a little more used to being pregnant. My focus shifts to labor and delivery and breastfeeding, but really I’m now just enjoying being pregnant and I don’t read all the stuff I was reading at the beginning. And I think it will be nice with that second pregnancy not to have to do everything I am doing now. 😉
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    11. Well, I certainly cannot speak to number 3 or 4, but I am so with you on the differences between 1 and 2! It really is amazing how differently you treat the whole thing. I also think the nicest part is that once number 2 arrives, you find you are a much more relaxed parent than you were first time around. This has held true ever since and I have to think this is a good thing for the kids.

      Glad you are enjoying the ride and have that newborn phase to look forward to–it’s such special time!
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    12. I totally agree with this post. Expecting my second in July and I feel a lot more relaxed and ready and not stressing about all the planning/baby details. Just trying to enjoy the summer as our last summer as a family of three. Best of luck to you in your pregnancy!
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    13. I have 2 young girls (6 & 7 now) and the best part about Baby #2 was that I was SO much more relaxed after she was born than I was with #1. I was able to really enjoy her as an infant as I wasn’t worried about doing everything “right”. I enjoyed Baby #1 too, but everything was so new that I fixated on things more.

      Enjoy this pregnancy and your newborn when he/she arrives!
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