I normally don’t complain on here or blog about things that get me down. I try to stay pretty positive and would consider myself a glass-half full kind of girl.
But the recent pain in my lower back has made the last two weeks extremely tough:
- I’m frustrated that the pain is affecting my parenting abilities. I haven’t really taken my son anyplace lately because of my inability to keep up with him – so no park visits, no walks, no trips to Target or other stores. He’s a vivacious 18 month old who wants to run around and play and the pain is preventing me from allowing him to do this. I’ve also been told by the chiropractor to pick up my son as little as possible. While he definitely prefers to be running around, there are countless times when he wants to be held during the day. How am I supposed to not hold him or carry him up the stairs at bedtime? It’s pretty hard to expect him to understand why mommy no longer can pick him up.
- I haven’t run since Tuesday, July 10th. Today is Day 11. This is the longest I have gone in over three years without a single run. Although I’m still praying to be able to run soon, I am losing hope and am already planning and expecting the worst – that I will not be able to run until after delivery of baby #2.
- It’s been SO hard to stay connected via social media. I’m so proud and happy of all the other running mamas out there, but I would be lying if I said that I didn’t have a tinge of jealousy each time I read a post from some of my favorite running-for-two ladies: Janae, Sarah, or Nicole. They are all running AMAZING miles still and I ache to be running with them. It’s also extremely tough to read about everyone training for fall marathons, getting long runs in, and being so enthused about running. So my reaction is to disconnect and mope (I know – I act like a little kid in this situations).
- I made a stupid decision. I began transitioning to minimalist shoes three months ago – so during pregnancy. Do you ever do something that you know in your gut is not the smartest but you do it anyway? Well that is what I did a few months ago. I’ve been wearing the SAME shoes since 2007 – and have had no injuries or issues. About three months ago, I decided to try out some low heel-to-toe drop shoes. I slowly transitioned my way into them and have been wearing them for about 2/3 of my runs. Based on what the chiropractor said today, it likely helped cause the pain that I am dealing with now because the change is too much for my body to adapt to (while it’s dealing with all the other changes going on). So if I do get the chance to run again during pregnancy, it’ll be back to my Mizuno Wave Alchemys.
I reached a breaking point last night. I had just returned from an afternoon with my son at my mom’s. I needed to get some lab work done for my OB-GYN and had a chiropractor appointment with a second doctor (for a second opinion) and my mom watched my son for the afternoon while I went to both. My husband was in the city meeting up with some friends for dinner and drinks, so after putting my son to sleep in his crib, I walked into our bedroom, plopped on the bed, and proceeded to ball my eyes out for a good solid 10 minutes.
There are times when a good cry is the best medicine. Last night was one of those times.
But since I do try to stay positive, there is some good news to share. I went to a new chiropractor yesterday. He diagnosed me over the phone a few days ago based on what I told him and confirmed his diagnosis yesterday: Posterior Pelvic Pain (aka Sacroiliac Joint Pain). This is what I initially diagnosed myself as having. He is a sports chiropractor and RUNS – so he understands my desire need to get out and run. My Sacroilliac Joint (SI) was misaligned. He realigned it yesterday as well as massaged out / stopped the muscle spasms that I had. He wants to see me three times a week for the next few weeks. I have to ice and do a series of stretches for a good portion of the weekend. He is hopeful that I will be up and running soon – but has already cautioned me that some women do not get the relief that they hope and have to deal with pain until labor.
The last two weeks have been extremely humbling for me. I had SUCH an easy pregnancy the first time around and was able to happily run until the day before my son was born. I know now that I definitely took it for granted and went into this pregnancy thinking that I was invincible…which obviously I am not. I have spent the last two weeks hobbling and waddling around with one hand always bracing my lower back – feeling like the typical pregnant woman that I almost used to look down on before.
After the cry last night, I immediately pulled myself together. Is it the WORST thing if I can’t run for another ~8+ weeks? Yes, it’s tough in so many ways because running is part of who I am. I just blogged about this very topic a few weeks ago. I am cranky, irritable, impatient…the list goes on and on…when I don’t run.
BUT I have to take a step back and look at the big picture. In two months, I will have a newborn in my arms. There are women who would give up SO much more to get pregnant. And I need to start looking at it that way. In the end, dealing with some pain and not running will be worth it if that’s what is necessary to have a healthy baby.
Hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoys this gorgeous weather!