I’ve been virtually pain-free for almost a whole week. I say virtually because there are still moments when I overextend myself and feel a small twinge of pain in my lower back/buttocks area due to Posterior Pelvic Pain.
The last 4+ weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions for me:
- During the first week, I just wanted to wake up and not be in pain. I didn’t think it would be a long-term injury so I figured a few days off from running was probably not the worst thing for my body.
- By the second week, I was frustrated that the pain was still there – and still SO strong. I no longer thought about running – I just wanted the pain to go away so I could walk normally and take care of my son.
- The third week came and I started to see/feel major improvement. I was limping less and able to do most things again! My spirits were higher than they had been in a while because I was hopeful that running was just around the corner.
- The fourth week was a letdown. Although I felt better, there were still periods of pain and so running was still out of question. I passed a major milestone: This was the longest I had EVER gone without a single run (since starting long distance running in 2002).
Now I’m in Week 5 of not a single run. Most days I don’t feel a single bit of pain.
You’d probably assume that I’d already gone for a run. I’m itching to go for a run. But I find myself in uncharted territory.
I’m too scared to run.
I am SO thankful to no longer be in excruciating pain. To be able to pick my son up. To walk around the block or take him to the park. To function normally again.
I want to run more than anything these days. I miss that “me” time more than I can ever put into words.
But something matters more – being a functioning mom for my son. I don’t EVER want to be as immobile and useless as I was a few weeks ago.
And THAT has made me scared to give running a try – even for just a mile. I keep asking myself Is it worth it? And so far the answer has been No.
I’m sure I’m going to have a morning where that voice of doubt goes away, where I wake up and get dressed and just go. (Because realistically I can’t imagine going another 5-7 weeks + recovery from L&D to run.) But right now, the What If’s are winning out in my head.
Have you recovered from an injury anxious to run only to find that you were too scared to run?
How did you overcome your fear?