A Second Child: What I’ve Learned

Happy THREE weeks  to my little guy!!  I’m amazed at how fast the time has gone and how I already can’t imagine life with my two little ones.

While there are definitely some aspects of life that are more difficult now, I am amazed at how relatively seamless the transition is/was.  These are some of the things that I’ve learned the last few weeks:

  • Love.  I finally understand what my mom used to say to my sisters and I about loving us the same but for different reasons. There’s no way that I could love my two little boys for the same reasons – my oldest is talking and interacting 24/7 while my youngest mostly eats, sleeps, and poops.  But I feel like my heart is split equally for them.
  • Diapers. A good part of my day  is spent changing them. I got used to going through maybe 5-6 diapers/day, so having a newborn who requires many, many more than that is a change for me.  And I’m convinced the boys are in cahoots.  It seems that they decide to “go” at the same time or while I preoccupied with the other!  I received a shipment yesterday – diapers for both boys, wipes, and diaper garbage bags.  Can you believe these two boxes will only last a few weeks!?!  
  • Sleep.  I’m amazed at how our bodies adapt to change.  I had felt SO tired the last few weeks of pregnancy and that was on 8 hours of sleep a night (+ 30-60 min of napping during the day).  Now, I’m getting about 6 hours of (interrupted) sleep and surprisingly feel relatively good for most of the day.
  • Food/Drinks I had to eliminate / limit during pregnancy. I forgot how wonderful it is to be able to have an afternoon (or early evening) cup of coffee if I want to!  And although I am really not much of a beer drinker, I have been CRAVING one almost every night!
  • Older Son’s Reaction.  My oldest son has been pretty wonderful with his little brother.  He wants to be included in everything that is going on – giving him a bath, changing him, holding him…and will almost never pass him by without leaning in for a kiss! I’m appreciate of all the suggestions that were left when I discussed my guilt with having a second child.  Thank you! 

 

  • Simultaneous Naps. This has been a  most welcome surprise.  I was really worried about how I was going to put my older son down for a nap after the little guy was born, but I have gotten pretty good at getting them to coincide.  It has allowed me some free time to clean, put my feet up, or get on the treadmill.
  • All babies are different. I already see a difference in temperament between my two boys.  I’m really not doing too many things differently this time around.  And yet my youngest is showing signs of being a better sleeper while my first was much more relaxed and calm when it comes to diapering and bathing.

First bath = Not happy!!

  • My reaction to things. This is probably the area that I have seen the biggest change.  With my first son, my husband and I were so cautious about everything – noise in the house, not letting him fuss (at all!), sleep habits, and so on.  I’ve quickly learned that I have to let go a lot of things that I used to stress obsess about.  There are times when I have to do something with my oldest and it may require my youngest to fuss for a few minutes in the swing or vibrating chair.  There are times he will be woken up from a nap because we have to go someplace – or because the house is loud.  It’s made me much more calm and relaxed about things – and has made the first few weeks much less stressful than I expected them to be!

Hope you are having a wonderful HUMP day!!

What changes did you experience with the addition of a second child? 

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    37 thoughts on “A Second Child: What I’ve Learned

    1. Thank you for this post! I have a 28 month old daughter and I am due with my second child next week! I love this post because I have been a little worried about how we will make the transition. I think my daughter will be great with her new little brother or sister, but there are definitely things I worry about.. most of what you covered here :)
      Leah recently posted..Maternity LeaveMy Profile

    2. I just stumbled across your blog. I have a 15 month old and we’re starting to talk about #2. I’ve been feeling really anxious about the thought of it, but this post makes me feel a little bit better.
      Congratulations on your newest arrival!
      Jess recently posted..NWM 2012 RecapMy Profile

    3. Great list! I had my 2nd boy 7 months ago (my oldest is 2), and I agree with everything. I love the saying “God gives you capacity” because back when I had my first I couldn’t even imagine having a second. Then when we did, it was so much easier than I expected – although still VERY hard at times, like with the coinciding diapers. :) Sounds like you guys are off to a great start!! Precious pictures!
      Ashley recently posted..Rao’s LasagnaMy Profile

    4. I’m late on congratulating you but CONGRATS! HE IS BEAUTIFUL!!! And this is a super helpful post since I already can’t wait to have another. Thanks for sharing. And congrats, congrats, congrats again! So happy for you :)

    5. 1. Congrats on your new little one soooo adorable.
      2. not to compare your children to my dogs but they are like my children until i have children. When I got my second dog it was like 20000x the effort, money, cuddling. Its crazy! I wouldn’t trade it for the world though!
      3. Your family is so cute! (:

    6. It sounds like you are adjusting really well. I love love love the picture of AJ giving Ryan a kiss. Isn’t it the sweetest thing how much the older one wants to help and BE the older brother? Melts my heart.

      Biggest change that I remember was how laid back I was with #2. Seriously, it took me like 3 weeks before I felt comfortable leaving the house by myself with J. With E, we were out the door right away. I even flew alone with E when he was 12 weeks old from London to NYC – something I would NEVER have done with J.

      Enjoy your two little adorable boys. And yes, OMG the diapers. Never ending.
      Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..On the road againMy Profile

      • Christine, I was the same exact way. I was SO nervous to do anything. We flew with AJ a lot early on and I would seriously have near panic attacks in the days/hours leading up to the flight. It all seems so easy this time around. I found myself laughing at what I used to be like…but I guess it’s normal for first time moms =)

    7. They are so cute together!!!! Sounds like you are in heaven! Pre baby I was an 8 hours a night or don’t function gal. Now I can function great on 6 hours (of broken) sleep just as well… Amazing how we adjust!

      I can’t wait for #2!!!!!

      Thanks for sharing your pregnancy running and post pregnancy training. Love reading about it!!!!
      Jenelle @ Mummylovestorun recently posted..Clocked and Rocked itMy Profile

    8. You’re my hero! When I see you run, there’s NO Excuses for me! I’m not a mom yet and I am kind of scared because of the time commitment I want to be able to give to them (working full time at the job I’m at now scares me that it’d take me away) because growing up I just had sitters. Hopefully I can refer to this post when it’s ‘my time’ ;)

      • Thanks, Kat!! It’s definitely a time commitment but to be honest, you look at it differently when it’s your children. There isn’t the feeling of “have to”…so it makes things (and getting less sleep) easier!

    9. Glad everything is going so well for you! Your worries are the exact ones I have for having a second child so I’m glad to see how seamless it’s been! Amazing momma!

    10. Sounds to me like things couldn’t be going better for you, which is fantastic! So glad your oldest is into your youngest–that makes things much easier.

      I think that your being more relaxed second time around translates into the second child being more adaptable, too. They just don’t know any differently, whereas with first babies, yes, we completely turn our worlds upside down for them!

      Can’t wait to meet you and them next weekend!
      misszippy1 recently posted..Marathons and half marathons on the brainMy Profile

    11. The first thing I noticed was how different my boys were. It seems that everything my oldest cried over (diaper changes, baths), the baby didn’t care. My youngest is also a HUGE cuddle bug. Even at 7 months, he loves to be held and carried around. My oldest never wanted to be cuddled. Even now.

      Glad to hear the adjustment has been pretty good!
      Steph @fitmomtraining recently posted..Body After Baby: They Grow up so Fast!My Profile

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