Enjoy Each Mile

graduation

Graduation and Commissioning Day (May 30, 2003)

Today is 10 years since I graduated from West Point.  The last 10 years feel as though they flew by.  I can so clearly remember being back at West Point.  But at the same time, being back at school seems like a lifetime ago.  I’m always amazed at how it can feel like that.

My four years at West Point were where some of my best memories were made and where some amazing friendships began.

Looking back, life seemed SO easy then.  Yes, we had a pretty heavy course-load, extracurricular activities and the occasional room inspection that would take us hours to get ready for (truth be told though, I loved having a spotless room =) ).  But, that was really all we had to concern ourselves with.  No little ones to look after, no cooking, no bills.  We were in college, enjoying our freedom, and making cherished memories with one another.

The best part, for me, was that my girlfriends and I were all together.  I was in the same company (and roommates) with my girlfriend, Lauren, for the last three years.  I lived with Annie during our freshmen year.  But, we were never more than 1/4 mile of each other.  Meeting for dinner, tv watching, and girl talk was an almost daily occurrence.

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    I Am A Domesticator

    My daily outfit when I spent the day in the house!!

    *Note: I shamelessly am using the term domesticator after seeing it on my friend, Lindsay’s, blog last week.  If you aren’t reading her blog, you NEED to!!

    About a month ago, I ran into a college classmate who I hadn’t seen since our 2003 graduation.  We chatted for a while about random things before the topic of our careers came up.  When I told him that I am a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM, aka domesticator), he started laughing and said, I can’t believe that the girl who used to tutor math to all of us is now a housewife.

    I know he didn’t mean to be condescending or hurtful with his comment, but I immediately felt embarrassed. Embarrassed that my life consisted of raising my children, cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry and not business attire and corporate events.

    Then I was angry.  Angry with myself for being embarrassed with the career choice I have made.

    But to be honest, if you would have asked me ten, even five years ago if I ever imagined I’d be a SAHM, I would have had the same reaction he did.  Truth be told, for most of my life, I had ZERO aspiration to be a housewife.  From as far back as I can remember, I had visions of becoming a successful, powerful NYC businesswoman.

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      A Second Child: What I’ve Learned

      Kiss time

      Happy THREE weeks  to my little guy!!  I’m amazed at how fast the time has gone and how I already can’t imagine life with my two little ones.

      While there are definitely some aspects of life that are more difficult now, I am amazed at how relatively seamless the transition is/was.  These are some of the things that I’ve learned the last few weeks:

      • Love.  I finally understand what my mom used to say to my sisters and I about loving us the same but for different reasons. There’s no way that I could love my two little boys for the same reasons – my oldest is talking and interacting 24/7 while my youngest mostly eats, sleeps, and poops.  But I feel like my heart is split equally for them.
      • Diapers. A good part of my day  is spent changing them. I got used to going through maybe 5-6 diapers/day, so having a newborn who requires many, many more than that is a change for me.  And I’m convinced the boys are in cahoots.  It seems that they decide to “go” at the same time or while I preoccupied with the other!  I received a shipment yesterday – diapers for both boys, wipes, and diaper garbage bags.  Can you believe these two boxes will only last a few weeks!?!  
      • Sleep.  I’m amazed at how our bodies adapt to change.  I had felt SO tired the last few weeks of pregnancy and that was on 8 hours of sleep a night (+ 30-60 min of napping during the day).  Now, I’m getting about 6 hours of (interrupted) sleep and surprisingly feel relatively good for most of the day.
      • Food/Drinks I had to eliminate / limit during pregnancy. I forgot how wonderful it is to be able to have an afternoon (or early evening) cup of coffee if I want to!  And although I am really not much of a beer drinker, I have been CRAVING one almost every night!
      • Older Son’s Reaction.  My oldest son has been pretty wonderful with his little brother.  He wants to be included in everything that is going on – giving him a bath, changing him, holding him…and will almost never pass him by without leaning in for a kiss! I’m appreciate of all the suggestions that were left when I discussed my guilt with having a second child.  Thank you! 

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        Friday Randomness

        sleepy

        Sleeps ALL day!

        There are a lot of random things that I want to share but rather than try to make a post around each one, I decided to just share them as concise as possibly:

        – I forgot how much newborns sleep!  My oldest son slept a good amount but nothing to the extent of his little brother.  I’m actually hesitant to even type this out because I don’t want to jinx how well (and how much) he is currently sleeping.  I have yet to nap during the day because I am getting a fairly decent amount of sleep at night (between 6-8 hours with 2short wakeups to nurse).  And the best part is that he seems to have his nights and days totally figured out – he wants to do nothing except sleep and nurse between the hours of 10pm and 8am!

        – I’m extremely anxious to start training and racing again.  Running just for fun is great but after 8 months of easy running with no tangible goal (except to run through pregnancy) in mind, I am itching to have something to push myself towards.  I hope to sit down and figure out my racing calendar for the remainder of 2012 this weekend and should have a post on what’s on tap early next week.

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          Guilt With a Second Child

          Playing with his Thomas trains!

          Helping announce baby #2 in March!

          Baby #2 will be making his/her arrival any day now and I’m excited, ecstatic, and anxious for my son to have a sibling.  Both my husband and I come from families of multiple children and we always knew we wanted the same. He will forever have a playmate and friend.

          BUT, there is this feeling that I can’t seem to shake.  There are times during the day when I look at my son and feel sad.  I feel guilty. I feel sorry for him.

          While he points to my belly and says “baby”, I know he’s still too young to actually get that there is a real-life baby in there – a little brother or sister that we will be bringing home from the hospital.

          He doesn’t realize that sometime in the next couple of weeks, our lives will forever be changed…turned upside down as we welcome a new member to our family.  He will no longer have 100% of mommy and daddy’s attention…and our worlds can no longer revolve totally around him.

          He has been the center of our lives since day one. These days, when he wakes up, we bring him back into bed with us – the three of us snuggle, hug, and chat before we all make our way downstairs.  My husband and I enjoy our morning cup of coffee in the playroom while he cooks us breakfast in his kitchen or plays with his Thomas trains.

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